Nine Months Alone
by Legacy Now
Summary: COMPLETE! :D He was gone, but a part of him was still with her. How was she going to tell the rest of her friends and family the truth? Prequel to the Gone fanfic verse. Moments of KO/A Post Prime
1. Still Need You

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter One_

_Still Need You_**  
**

* * *

_Papa I know you're going to be upset_  
_'Cause I was always your little girl_  
_But you should know by now_  
_I'm not a baby_

_You always taught me right from wrong_  
_I need your help, daddy please be strong_  
_I may be young at heart_  
_But I know what I'm saying_

_The one you warned me all about_  
_The one you said I could do without_  
_We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please…! _

_Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep_  
_Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep_  
_But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby_  
_I'm gonna keep my baby_

**_- Papa Don't Preach - Madonna_**

* * *

Each step the azure warrior took to her leader made her spark ache heavier and heavier as she got closer to the Prime.

The long waged war between the Autobots and the Decepticons was over. Finally. After all the long eons. The burden and pain was a happy relief to be free of. Every Autobot, the original five and allies that soon added on from space, celebrated on their new home. Apart from the three young Earthlings, the humans who knew of them thus far graciously started to accept them after a mild rocky start when they first met them.

Out of the celebration and merriment, one was burdened with sorrow. And it lingered in the glow of Arcee's spark.

She had feelings for a mech. A mech that wasn't an Autobot. Despite the parallel factions that they belonged in, he surprisingly returned the feelings she harbored. They were blissful, wonderful days that she spent each moment when she was with him... Even though her worries and doubts were many, his reassurances were enough to sooth them from blazing, which got them to hold on to their romance a little longer. Then when she received the message that shattered through her spark... Tears would flow out of her optics every time she thought on it.

_The Decepticons that survived were being lined up one by one as they disarmed themselves of their weapons off their person. It was a merciful action of the Autobots, rather have them all being hunt down and destroyed. With time and patience, the Decepticons would slowly come back to being Cybertronians, and the Autobots would too... And they would be one race again. But as long as the war took, it was going to be the same amount of time it was going to be to bring the species back as one. _

_Acree frantically looked upon the crowd of Decepticon mechs, hoping to find the one she was searching for. She kept on calling his name, but no answer seemed to call back to her. A lethargic blue frame was soon in front of her, and an optic and an eye patch stared at her. _

_"Breakdown...!" _

_An embrace soon wrapped the two of them together in metallic arms, a warm smile on the femme's face. Breakdown was a close friend of Knock Out, and he helped them many times to cover the couple's moonlighting outings. Without him, the romance between the two would be found out in two seconds flat and they wouldn't be standing here. _

_Just as they separated from each other, Arcee got to the point. _

_"Where's Knock Out? Is he still in the atmosphere, or is it taking longer for him to get here?" _

_"About that..." a disheartening look on his face soon appeared as it died off the quick reunion mood. _

_The joyful feelings she felt earlier drained out of her. No... it couldn't be. But the evidence was piercingly true once Breakdown took out a red flamed car door and drew it closer to Arcee. _

_She tried to hold back a soft sob before it came out. It was a trick. It was just something Breakdown found in a human garage. It couldn't have belonged to Knock Out...! It was just a sick joke Breakdown was playing to get a cheap laugh out of her, Knock Out was still alive! _

_"Megatron was starting to get the Dark Energon warriors from the other end of the Space Bridge, and Knock Out was apart of the crew who was in charge of that area..." began the Decepticon. _

_Was he speaking slightly faster, or did her mind just made everything fast forward in that moment? _

_"I was kind of around it, and Autobots were being killed; left, right and center. He must have thought of you, so before any more Dark warriors came through... he must have sacrificed himself for you, so you wouldn't lose any more partners. He did it for Earth and your human friends." _

_Warm tears flowed out of her optics as she grasp the door frame, and nothing could be done to make them stop pouring out. She tried harder to conceal her emotions, she tried everything. But at that moment, she didn't care if everyone knew she was in love with a Decepticon. _

_"Out of all the selfish, self-centered mechs in the universe, why..." she slowly began to sob quietly, in between letting her emotions run lose, yet still keeping them pend up. _

_She hugged onto the only piece of the one she loved. She held on to it as if it was all of him still attached to his whole being. It was as if she still felt him with her.  
_

_"Why did you have to do something so selfless? Why... Why? Knock Out... Knock Out...!"  
_

"Arcee... The sun is about to set. Come. You are just in time."

Optimus Prime gestured a welcoming hand for Arcee to sit on the boulder next to him.

"Thanks..."

As the femme gazed out into the horizon, a sense of comfort washed over her as she took in the warm colors of the evening sky. Sunsets never cease to amaze Arcee, and that is what Earth had that Cybertron will never have. The organic landscape of the canyon, forest and the river... It was so different, yet awe inspiring and beautiful. She couldn't comprehend something so simple, so untouched would be so powerful and majestic.

It even gave herself an ounce of courage for what she was going to say to Optimus.

"Optimus..." She could feel Optimus's optics turn as she called for him. "About what happened earlier, I... I can't thank you enough for you understanding. I knew it was something that couldn't be possible, but I loved him too much for me to let go of him."

She deserved to be disbanded from the Autobots, but with Optimus's influences to calm the others down, she was lucky enough just to still be with the Autobots.

"Your feelings were genuine," began Optimus, reassurance and patience in his voice. "In fact, it could even inspire the tension that still is around between the Autobots and the Decepticons to go out a little further, even though the war is finally over after all this time."

A smile drew on her face. How her leader's patience astounded her. But with what she was going to say to him, did she deserve all that?

She continued on.

"I'm sure that the others may come to forgive me in time, especially after all that I've done, but, I... What happened between me and Knock Out and now that he's gone... Without what he did, we wouldn't be standing here and the war would still be going on. I... I know I can't bring him back. Not Cliffjumper, not Knock Out... I just miss him so much...!"

She could feel Optimus's arms around her frame as she was wrapped in a hug. Once she was done her fill of tears and cleaned herself up, she looked up into Optimus's optics.

The Autobot leader broke the silence.

"I've known you since the day you joined the Academy... You are one of my finest soliders. And it has been an honor serving with you."

A smile and tear drop was on her face. The praise she was receiving... With what she was going to say to him, did she deserve all that? Out of all the things that she had to tell Optimus, what she had to tell him was the hardest thing she ever told him. The thought of Knock Out not being around when it was the most important moment... She couldn't bring herself to finish the thought the first time she brought it up. And that he couldn't come back... He wasn't going to be around. She was glad Optimus was at her side all this time to support her after all that has happened. Will he still be at her side after what she was going to say?

She inhaled a breath and bravely looked into her leader's optics.

"I... I'm thirty cycles sparked. And Knock Out's the father."

* * *

**_Note*~ _**

_This is a prequel to the 'Gone' fanfic series, along with the other one shot 'Decepticon'. They're important for background info, so you kind of have to read them in order to get the story. _

_So, this is about how Arcee deals with Knock Out's death, being pregnant (so she's more prone into hormonal rage XD), and how she deals with the reaction of her friends and fellow Autobots. Since this is kind of a 'post Prime', I don't know if I should kill off any of the Autobots, so I'll sleep on it and gather more dust... But I might throw in some Decepticons that may live. Just cause of Knock Out and some... certain friends. :hinthintwinkwink: _

_Hope you'll enjoy the chaptered story of mine! :koff:RulerofFire:koff: Your fault (for making this a chaptered story):koff: (jk, fyi x3) _

_And 'Bolts and Brakes' readers, I am SOOOOOO sorry for not updating. Life groped me in the behind, and I've been so busy... And I still need to gather dust for the story plus a lot of the rest of my fics on the site. It's my summer project, so I'll definately get it done before the season's over. ^.^ :) :D  
_

_XOXO, lovelove!  
_


	2. No Time For Tears

**_Note*~ _**

_WHOOO! Lots of good feedback on the first chapter. ^.^ Thank you everyone. ^^ _

_I'll be on vacation for a week, so I'll be out. I'll have Wi-Fi at my relative's place, so I might sneak online and see you guys. ^.^ _

_Ovah and outtt _

_XOXO_

* * *

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Two_

_No Time For Tears__  
_

* * *

On the medical berth, Arcee hold still as she was observed through Ratchet's various medical tools. Checking her vitals, her optics, even a sample of her energon blood. Out of all the Autobots who would probably be dead set against her relationship with Knock Out, Ratchet would be at the far end of disagreement. Yet, he was still checking her medical status and didn't immediately refuse to analysis her. Though, she did notice an odd grit of the jaw or a leering stare from his optics.

Bumblebee, the youngest and most understanding was at first surprised and shocked that she and Knock Out were together. But to the Autobot scout, she was like an older sister to him and wouldn't let their familial friendship sour because she was in love.

Disappointment would be the word to describe the look on Bulkhead's face. He loathed Decepticons with every data grain of his spark, and it didn't help that Breakdown was on the list of Arcee's close friends due to her relationship with the now late Decepticon medic. Arcee couldn't help but feel bad as a wall of alienation was soon building up between the two, but she and Knock Out were together... Nothing could undo the knots of time. Hopefully, Miko's flamboyant nature would help bring them back together. Out of all the times she was loud and annoying, this was the best time it would come to good use.

Without the help of Optimus, she doubt she be standing here still an Autobot.

It was a child that was both Autobot and Decepitcon. Optimus said her child was proof that Autobots and Decepticons can coexist together, and the Cybertronian race can come back together sooner in time. She and Knock Out being together wasn't a shameful thing at all. It helped bring Cybertronians back together as one and would help lead on and inspire a brighter future.

She smiled at the thought as she placed a hand over her growing womb. The only untouched alive piece of Knock Out still in the world for her to hold on to... The only solid proof that he wasn't gone. There was going to be another time to mourn for loss. Now was a time for her to focus on the baby growing inside of her and getting back the trust of everyone around her.

She was done trying to regain the trust of her Autobot brethren. Now if only she could face a certain human who stood by her no matter how bad it got around her... If she wasn't careful, she was going to lose him.

"All vitals and statistics seem to be normal..." mused Ratchet as he observed his readings on the computer screen. "And the child is perfectly safe and healthy. The child should be expected at around... what humans call 'April'. For now, don't do anything strenuous, and take it easy from time to time. The war's now over, so you won't do anything reckless. ... I hope."

A small smile left Arcee, trying to avoid all chances of optic contact with Ratchet. "Thank you..."

"I should do a check up again in a few weeks, and this should be monthly," began Ratchet. "Don't forget that."

"I won't. Thanks again, Ratchet. You've been a great help."

Getting up from the berth to quickly walk out of the medic's gaze, she just wanted his daggered glances to stop piercing her every time. She was guilty enough as is for not telling the truth, couldn't anyone understand that this isn't want she intended to happen?

As she was just about to exit through the doors, she felt a hand over her shoulder, and was surprise to find a lighter expression on the old medic's face. This was something... new.

"Stay strong..." a sympathetic smile was soon growing. "Optimus is right. This will bring back the Autobots and Decepticons back together. I may be getting up in my years, but I do hope to see this new generation unseparated and at peace. You did good..."

Arcee could feel her optics growing heavy, and soon both Autobots were in a mild embrace.

"Thank you..." she muttered under her breath.

* * *

As soon as she saw the familiar tiny humanoid frame, her insides just about flipped as their eyes and optics locked on to each other. What was she going to do? What was she going to say? He already saw her, so what was the point of walking away now? Even though she toward above her human friend, she never felt so tiny in her life.

"Jack."

"Hey... Arcee."

Stiffness.

The voice no longer resembled it's mundane, laid back tone. This wasn't going to be easy. She almost lost her brothers, which she almost got all of them back. Will her human friend, the only one who understood her and the one who guided her through his home planet still stay by her side after all she did? Just looking at him tore her spark apart.

"So, I suppose Optimus told you everything?" She'd say anything to break the silence.

"I overheard while Bulkhead and Miko were talking," began the human youth. "He's still sore on the whole thing, though."

A chuckle left the blue Autobot. "Like that's nothing new." The smile then soon died. "Are you still... sore on the whole thing? Mad at... me?"

Jack took in a deep breath. She was completely in for it.

"Honestly, Arcee... I'm pissed."

Yeah... She totally deserved it.

"I've known you. I've known you for all this time. We've endured dangers that would have almost gotten us killed. I trusted you with all I had, gave you my life, literally. And now here you are telling me that you're with a Decepticon... I just don't know what to say."

A flowing tear from the corner of her optic slid down her cheek, and she breathed just so more wouldn't flow out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, alright. I'm sorry...!" she could hear herself rasp. "It was selfish of me, stupid even! Even I thought it would get myself killed at one point or another and I didn't even knew what to do half of the time. But I _loved_ him. I could have called it off, telling him that we couldn't see each other anymore, but I couldn't put it down... I don't know why I couldn't just tell him that we couldn't see each other anymore, but he loved me back. And that's what kept me going. He loved all of me, and I just couldn't help myself... Now I'm carrying his child, and it's the only thing alive that's his. All this made me lie to Optimus, to everyone around me, to you... I just couldn't tell anyone. I'm so sorry...! I'm so... so sorry...!"

Once she looked back at the human youth, the look on his face turned from an angry one to a look of guilt, even sympathy. Was he also... ashamed of what she became? She really did lost him.

"So, this is it then," she managed to say through a flow of tears. "You're just going to walk out now? ... Am I going to lose you?"

After a long moment of silence, she could see Jack biting his lip and soon running to an arm, wrapping himself around the limb. For a moment, she swore that she heard a sob coming out of his person.

"... No. You won't. Never in a million years."


	3. Knock It Off!

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Three_

_Knock It Off!_

* * *

"Decepticreep!"

"Junkie pile!"

"Oil waste!"

"Cyber trash!"

_"You pathetic excuse for a-!"_

"CUT THE FRAG OUT OF IT, YOU TWO!"

The two mechs glanced nervously at Arcee, knowing that they crossed the line. The expecting femme heaved heavily, metal scraping mildly against each other at every exhale while walking tiredly on her feet. A month had past, and already Arcee was showing obvious signs of her pregnancy. A few hormonal bouts here and there pulsed through her drive, but most of the time she tried to keep her systems under control.

During the course of the month, the intermixing of Autobots and Decepticons was easier said to bring back together than the actual action. Since Breakdown and Arcee grew close because of her relationship with Knock Out, they'd come together to talk of the old days and other topics, but sometimes Bulkhead would come across them. And since he and Breakdown weren't exactly best buddies, it was as if the war still existed.

"Would you two stop acting like sparklings and for once _grow up_?" the sharpness in her voice echoed through out the base.

The femme's optics locked on to the Wrecker.

"I don't care if you hate me or not, but this... has got to stop, Bulkhead. I'm honestly sick and tired of you fighting him."

Breakdown's turn.

"You've lost so much, Breakdown... and you've handled everything so well, don't let it all go to waste. And this sparkling..."

She placed a careful hand over the growing infant.

"This baby is both Decepticon and Autobot. What's it going to think when it sees you two fight?"

A stinging silence was in the atmosphere. For a moment an air of understanding was among the three of them, but Bulkhead's optics turned angry.

"I see what's this about," the green Autobot began. "You're siding with him because he's a Decepticon. _He_ was a Decepticon! Everything you decide upon, if you had to side with either us or them, you'd chose the 'Cons. It's because you let him into your _spark_...! I can't believe you'd do this, Arcee. Do you remember what they _did_ to you? What they did to _us_?"

A pang of guilt throbbed and lumped inside of her, and she felt her brow crunching.

_'No, don't bring it...' _

"They took Tailgate, Cliffjumper..." disbelief welled up in his voice. "I can't believe you'd dishonor their memory like that. All for _that_ 'Con!"

That was it. Arcee had enough.

She felt herself face to face againts the green Wrecker, arm raised and ready to attack, but something inside of her made her halt her blow. The Autobot before her cringed to brace the invisible slap, but he was lucky to be spared.

The blue femme lowered her arm and gave a more merciful look at Bulkhead. She jabbed a finger at him.

"_He_ is gone, too," she began sharply. "He's the father of my child, don't you dare say those things about him. Just because I was with him and he's a Decepticon, doesn't mean I abandoned them both. I cherish them, still. As I said, I don't care if you hate me or not. Right now, Breakdown's more sympathetic than you. He's more of an Autobot than you'll ever be."

* * *

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

She felt Breakdown smoothing a hand down her back with comfort as she dried the tears off her face. They were both in the privacy of the hanger, sitting on the berth.

"It's alright, it's alright..." said Breakdown reassuringly. "This thing between me and Bulkhead's been going on for Spark knows when. You were brave to stand up for me, Knock Out and the 'Cons... Thank you."

A warm smile was on her face through her tears, and she felt her spark grow a little lighter.

"Anytime..." she muttered under her breath.

After a long pause, Breakdown then spoke.

"He was my friend, and I want him back as much as you do... but he's gone. If it helps, then I just want to let you know that you're not the only one who will miss him."

Breakdown seemed so serene and collective after the war. Perhaps long centries of fighting can do things to a bot, especially since he lost an optic. Out of all the support she was receiving, Breakdown was extremely helpful.

As a lump in her throat smoothed out, Arcee then began to speak.

"It wasn't always perfect, me and Knock Out. I wanted to let him in, I wanted to let him know that he means so much to me, but, I... I pushed him away. I didn't let him know that. I was so damn caught up in the past, I was scared that I was going to lose him. What happened to Tailgate, Cliff, I... He just didn't deserve that from me. But he wanted to be with me, and I just couldn't see that. And now he's gone, I can't say that to him at all. He loved me... cared about me. And I treated him like that..."

She felt an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"I'm sure he knew..." began Breakdown. "He wouldn't hate you for all that, I'm sure of it. He just... waits for you, no matter if it takes you eons. He doesn't care how wrecked up you are. He stays since he knows how to fix it. And he's still alive. He lives in you."

A drop began to roll down her face as she felt a quiet sob coming out of her person. Breakdown took her into an embrace and she could feel herself being rocked back and forth.

All this time, out of all the moments she worried, they could finally be laid to rest. And she did nothing wrong. She really did have the best friends around her.

Once there was silence around them, Arcee began to speak.

"Pregnancy hormones suck."

"I know."

"Be grateful that you're not a femme."

"I know."

"Shut up..."

"I know."


	4. Not Goodbye

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Four_

_Not Goodbye_

* * *

_Remember those walls I built?_  
_Well, baby they're tumbling down_  
_And they didn't even put up a fight_  
_They didn't even make a sound_  
_I found a way to let you in_  
_But I never really had a doubt_  
_Standing in the light of your halo_  
_I got my angel now_

_It's like I've been awakened_  
_Every rule I had you breakin'_  
_It's the risk that I'm taking_  
_I ain't never gonna shut you out!_

_**- Halo - Beyonce**  
_

* * *

_A single kiss on her back send ripples of energy through her system, opening her eyes to a new day. Another night had past by too quickly... Why did the sun rise so fast? Earth hours zoomed by compared to other time matrix on other planets. Could it just go away so she could stay with him a little longer?_

_"Morning... Did you sleep well?"_

_"Decently," Arcee began. "Did you?"_

_A mischievous smirk drew across the Decepticon's face and she knew he was satisfied with the events from last night. _

_"I did." _

_A warm smile drew across her face, but it soon died out as she turned to curl up into herself. Thoughts raced through her head. Should she tell him? Or would it be too complicated and letting him know would only distance them? She bit her lip. He was so precious to her... Why did she feel so powerless to keep him?_

_'Please, don't go, don't be hurt because of me. Please, don't... leave me.'  
_

_"You okay?" Knock Out broke the silence. _

_"Hm?" turning to face him, she tried to change the tension in the air. "I'm fine...! It's just this routine thing that Optimus makes us do. It's so time consuming, your joints ache every time. Disaster...!" _

_"... Doesn't sound so bad compared to what Starscream makes us do," a hint of disbelief could be detected in the mech's voice. _

_"What does he make you do?" Arcee was glad to jump into the new topic. _

_"Mostly the troopers get the lower end of the joint, since I'm the medic I'm not really that much in the front lines, but lots of them come back wrecked and disjointed," began Knock Out. "And this is Starscream. He's a bit... demanding." _

_A sympathetic smile came across her lips. No matter how mundane the subject was, at least they didn't talk about what was on her mind earlier. As long as he didn't know... Everything was fine. Morning came. They'd had to get back to their usual places anyways. Where their loyalties truly lie. _

_"Anything you want to talk about?" Knock Out suddenly asked. _

_A twitch from her brow gave off an amusing look on Arcee's face. _

_"Nothing in particular... I'm fine, why?" _

_"It's just... You've been kind of not yourself lately." _

_Now this was something new. _

_"Not myself, how?" _

_A serious look came across his face, and he glanced into her optics with his own crimson pair. How they send gentle shivers down her spine._

_"I love being with you, Arcee, and I want to be with you. I hope you want this as much as I do, but, lately you've been kind of... 'distant'." _

_This was something totally different. How was she distant? Of course she wanted to be with him. He meant so much to her... If she didn't have feelings for him, would they still be where they were at this very moment? She loved him... Wasn't it obvious enough?  
_

_"Distant?" _

_"Well..." began Knock Out. "It's more like you're sort of there, then at times you seem to not 'be into it'." _

_The moments when their relationship seemed to take a moody turn, they both bounced back from it and found a way to still stay together, but what Knock Out said pierced her. Did she really hurt him? She didn't mean to be inconsistent, but he didn't seem offended. He really did love her if he was at her side after all this time. _

_Would he still stay if she told him?  
_

_"At times, I feel like you really want to say something that's on your mind, but you stop yourself from speaking out," said Knock Out. "And then that's when you act distant... If you want, you could always talk about it." _

_She was more obvious than she thought. He read her like an open data pad, and she hated it when he read her mind, yet it was one of the things she loved about him. It also scared her that he was going to get the answer out of her sooner than later. And there was no defenses to shield her from him getting the truth.  
_

_"It's nothing, I... I just get like that," finding the words was harder than it looked when she tried to act alright. "It's just... I'm complicated, Knock Out. There's a lot of things in my life I'm just not ready to talk about. I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me..."_

_She felt her hands clasp into his and he kissed her forehead. Soon she felt her optic lids closing and she realized he was kissing her. Such a simple, small action, yet it was powerful enough to melt her. _

_"I'll wait... A hundred, a thousand years, even megacycles. If it takes you that long, I'll wait." _

_All that time, all that patience... He was willing to give that all to her and be at her side, no matter how big her issues were. She could feel a small smile on her lips.  
_

_"It's alright for me to take in scrap," continued Knock Out. "It's not alright for you to keep it all in."  
_

* * *

"So what are you going to name the baby?"

Miko seemed to be bounding off walls at the base, even though she was standing right in front of Arcee. The Asian girl was excited by almost anything, and the zeal was easily seen.

"Cybertronian names are special," chuckled Arcee as she glanced at her growing womb. "It's going to be a while to pick a name, let alone find one that's suitable."

The human girl's reaction to Arcee's expecting child got her excited. Miko always wondered what Cybertronian babies were like, and she took this as a big opportunity to see one up close and personal. At least that got her off the hook when it came to the Japanese girl's opinion of her being with a Decepticon.

"Thanks to Bulkhead, I know all sorts of Cybertronian names," beamed Miko.

Hopefully, Miko was working on getting Bulkhead to forgive Arcee.

"Let's see here," the Asian girl continued. "There's Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Jetfire..."

Raf was curious about Cybertronian infants as well, but the extent of showing his excitement was way below par that of Miko's. His reaction to Arcee being with Knock Out was a look of surprise, but he didn't push on the topic further. The youngest of the humans was more forgiving out of the three of them. It reminded her of Bumblebee very much. Perhaps that was the reason why the scout and Raf were such close friends from the start.

So far, Jack seemed to take the news well, ever since Arcee spoke with him. The only downside was he couldn't ride on his motorcycle often. He tried to help here and there to make her pregnancy more bearable, and she was grateful for his assistance. His mother, June, knew about births and infancy care, so she tried to help as well. Cybertronian physiology was something new for the human nurse, but she took on the challenge and seemed collective no matter the obstacles.

"This baby's huge! Bigger than me! Ah, so cute!"

Miko looked up at Arcee.

"Knock Out was red, right?"

"... Yes. He was."

And so was Cliffjumper.


	5. Mother

**_Note*~ _**

_Hey, people, I'm so glad for the feedback so far I'm getting on the story. You know how to make a girl cry. c': ^.^ Also, this fic helps to bring back my sanity in dark times, so thank you to you for the cheers and words (again). :3 x3 :D  
_

_This chapter may be a little short, so I hope it was alright... ;; Inspiration and meds don't come together hand in hand. ;A; I must write while really hyper and sugar high. :D ... That would be my crack fics. XD _

_Other than that, enjoy, and here's to chapter six being a longer chapter...! _

_XOXO_

* * *

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Five_

_Mother  
_

* * *

_"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."_

**_- Rajneesh_**

* * *

Ratchet was preparing the medical tools, sanitizing them for safety measures. He drew a screen monitor closer to him and Arcee on the medical berth and turned the machine power on. Pads and wires were placed on Arcee's womb, warm jelly Ratchet applied on to her slowly turned cool. This was it. Today was the day. In the stage of Arcee's trimesters, the sparkling was grown enough to be seen on a sonogram. Nervous, but excited, Arcee couldn't wait to see what her child looked like.

After a slight squeeze with Ratchet on him learning about Arcee and Knock Out's relationship, it was a rocky start to accept, but Arcee needed a doctor. As usual, Ratchet would always look out for any of the Autobots, no matter how dire the situation. That was one of his best traits.

At times, his occupation would always remind Arcee of Knock Out...

The monitor hummed and lit up with an image.

"Arcee, I'd like you to meet someone."

A voice suddenly played through her mind. It was hard not to have tears dampening her optics. Such a happy memory...

_"Hey, there, Autobot, here's lookin' at you...!"_

On the screen was her unborn child... resting comfortably inside of her. As it breathed, slow motions rising up and exhaling, it was a sign telling her it was alive. And it was inside of her. Her own child. Hers and Knock Out's. She could feel her face growing wet as she tried to clean off the tears.

Knock Out was with them. In the Well of Allsparks, in their child. And through the infant, he will be reborn. He'll always be with her. What was the sparkling going to look like? More like her, or more like it's father? If it had his crimson eyes, she'd look into Knock Out's eyes everyday. With that reminder, it was going to be harder to not miss her late lover.

Ratchet then checked the vitals and statistics and pressed a few buttons.

"Everything seems perfectly normal, yourself and the sparkling..." he began. "Last time gave me quiet a scare when you fainted, so I'm glad you made it _this_ far alright."

A light chuckle left Arcee. The old medic could be such a spark mother.

"Please be careful. For your sake and the sparkling. ... Do you want to know the gender, or do you want it to be a surprise?"

"I'd... like to know."

Being placed on the edge and surprises weren't exactly Arcee's forte. Nights would be agonizing without sleep if she didn't knew what the baby was going to be, and she would want to find out right on the spot. Plus, it would narrow down a lot of baby names. A feminine name for a mech sparkling wouldn't be too glorifying.

After a long silence, Ratchet said, "you are the mother of a baby boy..."

_'Mother...' _

Arcee had been called many things. A solider, a warrior, an Autobot, second in command, a friend... Now mother.

She lost so much over the many years of fighting. Family, Tailgate, Cliffjumper, then her one second chance of bringing down her walls from eternal darkness... Knock Out was gone. And he wasn't going to be around when the sparkling was born. She was alone for most of her life and couldn't survive... Then after being with him, she knew how to. Once the sparkling was in the world, she wouldn't be isolated anymore.

In fact she wasn't alone. She was surrounded and cherished, and very much needed.

And he showed her that.

* * *

"You want me to be the spark guide for the sparkling?"

Breakdown gave Arcee a look as if she asked him to make up with Bulkhead. The femme carried on her usual intent.

"I'm serious."

"Who, me? Arcee, I'm... I'm not good with kids," began Breakdown. "I'm a former solider, not some spark nanny. There are other candidates better than me, there's Optimus. He'd do the job way better than me."

"But you knew Knock Out. That's more than qualified."

A tense silence was among the two. Neither party was backing down from their decisions, but with the right words Breakdown may listen to reason.

"This sparkling has no father. If it didn't know about Knock Out, I... I just can't sit with it. If we talked about him around it... he won't be gone. And when the day comes for me to tell it's father was a Decepticon... I don't want to be alone that day."

More trouble to confront with. If her child ever found out it's father was a Decepticon... That was for another day. For now she had to focus on what was around her and caring for her own well being. So many worries, so many situations... She was fortunate enough to be surrounded by such wonderful friends.

The former Decepticon broke the silence.

"Alright, fine," began Breakdown. "I'll do it for Knock Out's sake. But no way am I changing any oil dispensers!"

Arcee chuckled and came to a quick conclusion. Ever since the war ended and she got pregnant, Breakdown was growing a sense of humor.


	6. Partners Forever

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Six _

_Partners Forever_

* * *

_Why are you at my side? _  
_How can I be any use to you now? _  
_Give me a chance and I'll let you see how _  
_Nothing has changed _

_Deep in my heart I'm concealing _  
_Things that I'm longing to say_  
_Scared to confess what I'm feeling _  
_Frightened you'll slip away _

_You must love me _  
_You must love me… _

**_- You Must Love Me - from the musical 'Evita'_**

* * *

"You know, we've known each other for a long time."

The Nevada sun was just about to dive into the horizon, the autumn evening coming to a close. Arcee and Jack were on top of the roof base. While pregnant, this was one of the chances Arcee had to go out of the base and spend time with Jack. He was starting his last year of high school. Spending time with him before his schedule got out of hand and her being too busy with the baby was a good reason to hang out together.

"Yeah... we have."

"I still remember the time when I picked you up in front of the burger place where you worked at," began Arcee, a chuckle about to ignite. "The look on your face..."

A look of embarrassment flushed over the youth as he timidly glanced towards the ground.

"About that..." an uneasy laugh left him. "That's when I met you and the rest of the Autobots. Life was _never_ the same after that, believe me...! Still, it... makes me wonder what would have happened if me, Raf and Miko never found you guys."

"... We'd still be at war with the Decepticons if we hadn't met you," mused Arcee, but cut the topic off shortly once she mentioned the former enemy. "We'd probably would still be frustrated with Earth, heh... Ratchet always hated human technology. Earth would be in peril... We'd get into lot of more mistakes if we hadn't met you guys and we wouldn't be... friends."

The uneasy smile on Jack turned serious, and the two couldn't comprehend the possibility of what Arcee just said. The somber pause froze the atmosphere around the two.

"On second thought..." began Jack, a warm smile was soon across his lips. "Complicating my life wasn't so bad after all."

"For a human... I'm glad that I got to be your guardian. At times, it seemed that you were guarding me more than I was protecting you."

"Me protecting you?" Jack seemed perplexed.

"When we first dealt with Airachnid on Earth... I was so scared I was going to lose you. At first I was uneasy opening up that part of my life to you, but then you found out. Not many really understood what I went through and how I felt, but then you came along... I'd thought you leave, but you never left my side. No matter how bad things got. You're one of the few who knows me and understands me... better than I do. And I'm so... so grateful for that."

Arcee noticed Jack's eyes watering, but the excess moist was gone, and the smile was still on his face. First it was Cliffjumper... Then Knock Out. Now all she had left were Jack and Breakdown. She hoped they both lived long lives so they wouldn't leave her so soon.

"About you and... Knock Out. I... I never... resented you for that."

Out of all the secrets she kept from anyone, her relationship with Knock Out was larger than both the moons of Cybertron combined. Forgiveness was completely out of the question. And now she was hearing Jack, her closest human friend, telling her he forgave her.

"You... you do?"

When the human found out her relationship, she thought she would be forsaken the minute he heard the news. But he was still with her. After Airachnid. After learning she was in love with a Decepticon... He really could endure the worst. She felt his tiny frame embracing her arm.

"You're my first motorcycle... I'm not giving you up that easily."

"... thank you... thank you so much...! I'm so sorry... for everything."

She could feel her optics growing heavy from tear drops, yet she was so happy... Jack was a credit to his species.

"What's there to be sorry for?"

The sun sank deeper into the horizon, indicating that the evening was turning into night. Mild stars began to glisten in the darker skies. The two of them would have to call it a day soon, and they both had to be ready for the next day. Despite the day ending, Arcee enjoyed her time with Jack very much and hoped he would come and see her again.

The Autobot then broke the silence.

"Once you're done school, what are you thinking of doing as -what you humans call, a career?"

"Well, I had some thought on it, and I might consider going into auto mechanics... I know a few places where they have good apprenticeships, though they're out of town."

"How far out?"

"They're within Nevada. It's only a few miles out from Jasper. Heh... It's a good opportunity to get out of town, though."

Her systems just about sank inside of her. Only one more year of school for him... Then it was his apprenticeship and he was considering studying out of town. She knew that there was always the Ground Bridge and they could stop by at one another's location. Yet, something inside of her was telling her the young boy in front of her was changing. He wasn't that sixteen year old boy she literally picked up in front of the food place anymore. He was growing up. And once the year was over and he was off studying else where, there was not going to be much time to see him. And he would be a full fledged man. Humans age so fast.

Jack must have picked up on her sudden change of mood. A look of sympathy was on his face, a glance of reassurance.

"But... it's not going to stop me from seeing you again."

The words from the human youth warmed her spark. She felt herself smiling. Their bond survived through fire and ice... Nothing could break them. Her pregnancy hormones must have kicked in when her mood fluctuated when Jack first brought up him moving out of Jasper. She concluded the unstable moods to be the downside of being pregnant. That was one of the things she wouldn't miss when the sparkling was born.

"Partners forever?"

Jack smiled, fist proudly in the air.

"Forever and ever."

Out of the corner of her eye, a playful smirk came across her face. Jack deserved a little payback.

"So how are things with you and Sierra?" the expecting mother teased. "Planning to -what you humans say...?- 'ask her out'?"

"_What_, Arcee? You're worse than my mother...!"


	7. In Blackest Night

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Seven  
_

_In Blackest Night  
_

* * *

_And maybe, I'll find out _  
_The way to make it back someday _  
_To watch you, to guide you _  
_Through the darkest of your days _  
_If a great wave should fall _  
_It would fall upon us all _  
_Well I hope there's someone out there _  
_Who can bring me back to you _

_If I could, then I would _  
_I'll go wherever you will go _  
_Way up high or down low _  
_I'll go whoever you will go _

**_- Wherever You Will Go - The Calling_**

* * *

_[Knock Out to Breakdown, are you there? Come in!] _

_[Primus, you're alive...! Haven't heard from you in cycles. Check in more often, you aft, I thought I lost you!] _

_[Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome.] _

_[So where's the fire?] _

_[Breakdown, about the briefing we had with Megatron and everyone else...] _

_[Yeah, what about it?] _

_[Remember that it said it would bring the Dark warriors through the space bridge? I... I'm... I'm at-] _

_[You're at the bridge and you're attempting to stop them from coming? Are you **insane**?]_

_[Breakdown, listen! I know the consequences, I know the cost, but I have to do this. For her.]_

_ [... Anyone could be listening on this frequency right now. You know what will happen if they ever found about your moonlighting romance.] _

_[I don't care if anyone gets this on record, I have to do this. For her. ... and I'm not gonna survive this one anyways, Breakdown.]_

_[Withdraw, Knock Out, withdraw! For the love of Primus, get out of there!] _

_[Everything I did, I did for her. She's lost so much, Breakdown... You saw what was done to those Autobots, they were **slaughtered**. She probably knew one or two of them, and once all of them are gone... They'll come for her. And if they didn't came for her, she'll loose so many partners... Of course, that would conflict on me sacrificing myself, but...] _

_[Then get out! You're gonna die, Knock Out. Once we win the war, you can keep her for as long as you like, make her your slave, but GET OUT.] _

_[... I'd rather have her safe... than be under Decepticon rule. She's too free and untamed to be under our... their clutches. And if my life is a cost for her freedom, and for that human friend of her's and his planet... I'd give it wholeheartedly.]  
_

_[... Whatever that femme did to you... I hope it was worth the nights I had to cover you.]  
_

_[I am very grateful for what you did for me, my friend. I can't thank you enough... Oh, one more thing, Breakdown. She's lonely... On the outside, she may seem to have it together, but inside... she's screaming. Take care of her, for me. ... It's been an honor serving with you, partner.]_

_ [Knock Out...!] _

_**BOOM**  
_

_[...zpft... vvppppp...zzzzzzz]  
_

* * *

"The rest of us were cleaning away the wreckage up around the Earth's atmosphere, and I happen to come across this..."

Presented to Arcee from Breakdown's mighty hand was a sparkchamber. The dim from the light of life was low, showing signs of ailing. Regardless if it was attached to a body or not, she gently grasp the soul container into her hands. For a Decepticon, it was a surprise that his sparkchamber seemed so... pure. Even as it was floating between life and death, it's golden hue and dimming sparks made it looked like as if Primus constructed the spark itself. Anyone could mistake that the spark belonged to a Bot of good intentions.

But he _did_ have those intentions, and he _was_ good, deep down inside. He had it all along. Maybe she was the only one to see that.

Tears just about formed into her eyes as an image of his face flashed through her mind. Even in death, the teasing smirk and tone in his voice still lingered with the living.

His chuckle just about echoed throughout the room.

_"What's the matter with you? Feline gasket got your glossal, schatz?"_

He was a Cybertronian, had mild disregard for the indigenous species on Earth... yet he spoke a human language other than English. It made him seem so much more romantic when he spoke to her in German.

"Thank you... This means a lot, Breakdown. Now, he'll be here... always. Not bad for a first maternity present. I love it..."

Chuckles left the both of them.

"I'm glad I found it floating in space... And if you want, we could always have a small ceremony for him."

"... Of course. He is the hero for this war. Without him we wouldn't be standing here today..."

"Out of everyone in the galaxy... you were the only one who had power over him. Not the kind of power that's overbearing, but just a word. Just one single word... You don't even have to raise your voice in order for you to make him listen. Just a few simple words... and he listens. Even though I was partly against you two being together from the start, after all this time... You made him decent. You were his saving grace. I can't even do that and I'm his closest friend... and I'm so glad you saved my friend."

"Thank you... thank you so much...!" Happy tears flowed out of her optics as she felt herself overjoyed with so many emotions.

After a warm embrace, they decided to see what needed to be done around the base before sundown. Plans for Knock Out's ceremony would be planned later on. Out of all the tension the past few weeks, of all the pain and tears... Arcee was happy. After all the loss, the tense words thrown at one another, truths painfully being hooked out of her system... Life was brimming at her fingertips. She was so happy! Nothing could taint what she was feeling, and she wasn't going to let them go.

All of a sudden, she started to feel dizzy. The room was spinning around her as if she was being spun around on her feet. Primus, what was happening to her? Why...? Out of all the times to be like this, why did it have to be now? Not when everything was back to the way it was... Not now! A spontanous jolt zapped through her mind.

"Ahh..."

The sound of Breakdown's voice and the room around her began to fade away... Slowly turning to black.

_"Arcee...!"_


	8. Desperation

**Nine Months Alone **

_Chapter Eight _

_Desperation _

* * *

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go _  
_Will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know _  
_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around _  
_You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

_It always have and never hold_  
_You've begun to feel like home _  
_What's mine is yours to leave or take _  
_What's mine is yours to make your own _

_You are so beautiful to me, you are so beautiful to me…_

_**- Look After You - The Fray **_

* * *

_"How could you, how could you?" _

_There he was. Standing in front of her, red paint job to prove he was real. Like he never had a scratch on his perfect frame from the war. He was only a few feet away from her, yet why did it feel like they were miles apart? _

_They were apart. He was dead and wasn't of this world anymore. And nothing could be done to bring him back. Yet… how come he was in front of her? _

_"How could you do this to me? You promise you'd never leave… Leave me! How could you…" _

_Her optics felt hot and began to flow out slow teardrops, her entire being falling to the ground. She was all alone now. No one was with her. They' were all gone. Dead because of her. Tailgate, Cliffjumper, then Knock Out… They were all dead! She was cursed, she was the one who killed them all! _

_"You'd promise you'd wait…! Wait for me! How could you just leave me like that?" _

_She continued to sob. Lifeless and without a speck of hope, she was empty. Nothing. What point was there to go on? There was no future… _

_She then felt his arms wrapping around her, holding her in a tight but generous embrace. Even in tense moments like the one she was undergoing now, the warmth from his person was still as empowering and affectionate. Suddenly, she started to hear a melodious hum from her significant other and made out the words to be part of a Cybertronian lullaby. How it soothed her and made her rock with ease to the gentle tempo… _

_The red warrior finally broke the silence. _

_"I have, and will always be with you, no matter how far apart are." _

_Those words… Those few simple words that came out of his mouth were said so commonly. Yet they were the very spell to end the blazing rage inside of her to a sizzling damp fuse. Primus, what a fool she'd been. An angry, witless, selfish fool…! She knew better than to act they way she did before, but she caved into acting like a child and degraded herself into immaturity. _

_Instead of tears of rage, sadness took place when they left and rolled down her cheeks. Why… Primus, why did everything good and so happy had to end? Why did it have to come to this? _

_She felt herself uttering something under her breath. _

_"Don't look at me, I'm ugly when I cry…" _

_Fingertips were against her face, the same power and touches of affection seething through them. Optics locked onto each other, his own observing her and absorbing every single detail. He was so careful, not only when it came to mental games, but he also had an optic for noticing the unseen. Maybe that was another reason why she fell in love with him. _

_The silence was finally broken. _

_"… Why are you so beautiful?" _

_First angry tears that turned sad… then a final tear shed out of happiness. She felt her optics closed when he shifted closer to her, their lips finding their familiar positions. It blew her away every time. _

_"Ich liebe dich…" _

* * *

Optics slowly opening, her surroundings were spinning and she was seeing three or four of everything around her. Her head felt like it was clamped between a set of jaws, her entire frame throbbing in pain.

"Agh..."

That was just a dream. This was reality. And it literally bit and gave pain. Suddenly, a flinch in her spark gave her an uneasy feeling. Why did it...

Wait.

The sparkling...!

Every single nerve in her body sang in pain as she tried to sit up. She could hear Ratchet's voice trying to sooth her from her sudden awakening.

"Not too fast...!" he whispered. "Easy, easy..."

"The sparkling... is it alright?" It was a full blown effort to speak as she rasped out each word.

Primus, it hurt...!

"Yes, the sparkling is alright... It's a strong fellow, I'll give you that. You passed out from the lack of plasma flowing through your system. Usually it happens when a femme is sparked, but in your case there wasn't enough and that was how you passed out. After all that's happened to you, I'm glad that you survived this far."

"But the sparkling... it won't have any problems because of me?"

"No it won't," replied Ratchet. "But a good night's rest and some test from you to see what you need, I'll have you back in no time."

As she laid back on the berth, the pain and the fury inside of her just froze and turned a smile on her lips. She felt her optics submerging into light, happy tears.

"I saw him… I saw him, Ratchet. He came to me, and I saw him...!"

"... I'm glad." The Autobot smiled in return. "Now, please... get some rest."

Darkness taking her in, the smile was still on her face as she fell to sleep.

* * *

"You know, you're gonna have to make up with her at one point or another. You knew her since, like... forever!"

"..."

"She almost died. You don't want this to be the last thing to say to her."

"... Alright, I'll do it. But only because you made me. Even if it's the last thing I do..."


	9. Till The End?

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Nine_

_Till The End?_

* * *

_What I thought wasn't all_  
_So innocent_  
_Was a delicate doll_  
_Of porcelain_

_When I wanted to call you_  
_And ask you for help_  
_I stopped myself_

**_- Gomenasai - t.A.T.u._**

* * *

The atmosphere was piercing as the two Autobot's optics made contact. It could have been Bumblebee she could have seen. Optimus, even Ratchet! But it was Bulkhead who entered the hanger. The tension grew denser as time went on. Arcee's optics glanced to the floor. If only Bulkhead could just quickly walk out of the hanger and just leave her alone... Avoiding each other was the only option to cease any high pitched verbal barbs. If she had a choice to be facing Bulkhead or a battalion of charging Decepticons, facing the former enemy looked more probable to survive.

"Hi."

The Wrecker's voice echoed through the room. He sounded like he was shouting, even though he only spoke normally.

"Hey."

Her glance shifted towards the ground, his stare like a ray of death. If only he would just walk away already... There was enough damage, could they just stop it so they wouldn't have to tear the whole base apart? Her hormonal bouts alone could do the job, but that was another story. Out of all the time she took to redeem herself with the Autobots, whenever she was around Bulkhead, all her work was in vain, no matter what she did to gain back their trust. She didn't want this... She loved her late significant other with all her data grains, and the prices she paid were many. And it had to include the loss of her brethren, a hefty sacrifice she had to make. But did it have to drag on _this long_? Why couldn't it just _end_ already?

"About what happened the past few months..." Bulkhead broke the silence.

He was finally being diplomatic. Out of all the spite and the rage, he would be the one to raise the white flag. He finally gave up...!

"Honestly, I'm still hurt about you _being_ with a Decepticon. What they did to us... What they did to Cybertron. They're the reason why we lost our home, they're the reason why we're on a planet that doesn't belong to us. If you _knew_ what he did to our kind, to others we knew... I just can't see how you could be with someone who could do all that."

"But Earth is our home. And there are no Autobots or Decepticons. There's just the Cybertronians. We're one."

The silence seemed to sting Bulkhead's mouth. Arcee had more to say.

"Optimus once said... even the Decepticons have capacity for change. Doesn't that mean we Autobots also have to change? If we don't let go of indifference and don't change the way we view things, the war might as well be still going on. There might be losses, harsh and terrible, but there's always tomorrow to come around and fight. There will always be new worries and troubles. I'm not going to press my feelings any further on the matter, but I'm moving on. For the future, and my child."

"I... I am try to move on. I know the war is over. I'm only talking to you about this because I don't want all this to be all we remember when we look back on the old days... and Miko also talked me into this, but Arcee... As your fellow solider and Autobot, I'm begging you... After all I've done, please forgive me. I know I've said some nasty things, but please... I'm so sorry... Say something, please, anything...!"

Arcee's optics suddenly got a tad wider.

"... My lubricant just broke."

As the news crossed Bulkhead's audio receivers, his jaw just about dropped to the floor.

* * *

**_Note*~_**

_Hey, guys, so glad for your wonderful support. I don't know what I'd do without you. ^.^ _

_I was thinking of writing some oneshots with the sparkling after it's born but I don't know if I should make them bonus chapters on this story, or make them a separate story on the site. Love to hear your suggestions. ^.^ _

_ovah and outttt _

_XOXO_


	10. Hopes

**Nine Months Alone**

_Chapter Ten  
_

_Hopes  
_

* * *

_I can't control _  
_My destiny _  
_I trust my soul _  
_My only hope _  
_Is just to be _

_There's only now _  
_There's only here _  
_Give in to love _  
_Or live in fear _  
_No other path _  
_No other way _  
_No day but today_

**_- No Day But Today - from the musical 'RENT'_**

* * *

It was the calm before the storm. She was in labor for what seemed like hours and things were surprisingly mundane. Even though the atmosphere didn't swing into full panic, it didn't mean trouble wasn't around the corner. Arcee seemed to be the only calm one in the medical bay. All the mechs, including the male humans, were in full swing panic. **_Pure_** bedlam. And Arcee was the one giving birth.

"Where's the cord? We need it!"

"Should we boil water...?"

"... ow, Bulkhead, you're stepping on my foot!"

"Raf, that's only for humans, water will rust them."

"You started it...!"

"Boiling water doesn't actually do anything for the baby. It's just gives something for people to do if they're not part of the labor and keeps them calm."

"You two, stop it right now! This isn't the time, you can fight later."

"Miko, how could you be calm at a time like this?"

"AGGHHHH!"

All the voices ceased to silence and the attention was all on Arcee.

This was it. The eye of the storm. The baby was coming. And the arrival wasn't going to be a smooth one.

Arcee's systems were heating up fast and she was loosing energon quickly. Things were starting to get more tense with each passing minute. And the baby was coming soon.

"Arcee, I need you to breathe, stay focused with me...!" Ratchet said as calmly as possible. "When I say push, you do as I say."

Nodding, she turned to Breakdown who was at her side, grasping on to his hand for dear life. Not far behind him was Bulkhead, who was still but she knew he was panicking inside. The green wrecker actually begged her to forgive him... He pleaded. He could have given a cold apology, but he was never one to give harsh words. If he said it to a comrade, perhaps he didn't mean it. They have known each other for a long time and they helped saved each other more than once... Perhaps Miko did a good job of turning Bulkhead's mind around. Either way, when the sparkling was born, the fewer grudges she had around her the better.

"Bulkhead...!" Arcee called.

The green Autobot drew closer to her, turquoise optics wide and tense.

"There's... no point in wallowing in what we said..." she breathed and rasped through breaths. "Sure, we'll regret it, but... for the future, for the baby... Let's put it behind for him."

A smile was on his face as she saw a tear drop roll down his face plate.

"Thank you..."

One fight was done. All that was left was trying to bring the sparkling into the world. The pain intensified, pulsing through her systems like shocks of electricity. It was building and building, balling up until...

"AHHH!"

She felt herself being thrown back on the berth.

"Push!"

Her insides just about gave in.

"AGH!"

More heavy breaths... Breakdown probably wanted this to be over as much as her. Her grasp on his hand got hard, but they were made out of metallic alloy. Pain from a squeeze that hard he could probably take, though she did see him wincing from time to time. She didn't know what was messier. The battlefield or childbirth.

Arcee began to speak to Breakdown.

"What... would he think... if he knew he was going to be a father... now?"

All that was heard were painful grunts and moans, leaving Breakdown to ponder what he was asked.

"I think he... he would be uneasy about it at first, but... he would be glad that he's having it with you, and that the war's over."

From all the pain, a smile was on Arcee's lips.

"He was supportive and always there for me... he'd do the same for our child. Isn't that... more than enough?- AHHH!"

She felt her entire frame thrust back onto the berth. The levels of pain were rising. And they were spiking hard.

"Though, I am glad..." she uttered with all her strength. "To bring the first child that will be raised without faction."

Every vein in her body just about screamed in pain.

"Push!"

One last final scream.

A blackout. Darkness.

Then quiet.

Stillness.

A soft innocent cry was heard...

Optics slowly opening, she was eye to eye with a tiny version of herself... and gazed into Knock Out's ruby optics. Her infant had her metallic face and resembled some of her design, though instead of a blue finish, he had his father's crimson colors.

He was hooked up to her cord oil, and gazed with wide eyes at his mother.

Speechless and stunned, Arcee couldn't think at all. Her child seemed so innocent, so unprotected, no one would think that his father was a Decepticon. It knew of no evil, it knew nothing of good. The little tyke was hers. He was all hers.

A hand slowly motioned to reach for her child, and once her fingers made contact... She felt him for the first time. A wide smile was on the baby's face and his little hands reached for his mother's. A quick smile was on her face as she continued to witness her newborn son's efforts.

What was this... feeling she had that flickered in the depths of her spark? It was mightier than victory. Mightier than anything she ever felt. Was it... hope? Hope that her child will triumph all the hardships that came his way? That he would be strong and never experience the losses she went through?

In that tiny frame of his, he was so vulnerable... and she was going to protect him no matter what crossed them. And one day, when he was old enough, strong enough, he will be able to stand and be victorious in the face of danger. Though, he was still tiny, and he was just brought into the world. She had to take in the moment before time sped and aged them both. She hoped that what she did and the affection she was going to give to the child in front of her was enough to make him strong.

Scooping up the baby her arms, she placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Closing her optics and gently embracing him.

Primus, he was so tiny... and fragile. He was all hers, and Knock Out's.

He was always... always with her.

As she hummed the notes to a Cybertronian lullaby, she felt herself smile as she gave another kiss to her baby.

_Cliffjumper... _

_My Cliffjumper.  
_

* * *

**_Note*~_**

Wow… It's done.

It's over.

Finally.

At times I feel down when I can't get to finish a story on the site, but now this is completed, I feel happy that CAN finish them. ^.^

Never have I written anything this dramatic and visceral, especially in the second chapter when Arcee was on the verge of loosing Jack's trust, or in the fourth chapter when she has trouble opening up to Knock Out on her lost. It got me down to shredding into the characters and trying to understand and attain their personalities. Even though Arcee has been through so much trauma and loss, and her only second chance (which is Knock Out ;) ) was taken away from her, she learn to stand alone (as a person and single mother) but still knew how to let others in. But she's not actually alone... She's always surrounded and loved, by Jack, the Autobots, Breakdown, and the new addition her son, the new Cliffjumper. ^^ In a way, Knock Out is Arcee's saving grace, saved her from herself and got her out of the darkness she was in. ^^ :D

Now that it's over, hope you can't wait for the stories after this one. ^.^ :) Hope to see you soon on those. :D

I thank my favoriters, alerters and reviewers. You REALLY know how to make a girl cry. c': ^.^

**Victoria-BlackHeart** - your enthusiasm for the story warms me up. ^.^ thank you so much for the words :D ^^ c':

**Sounddrive** - thank you SO much for the faithful reviews. I'm touched to see how you admire my works, and I wish for all the best on your writing. ^^ Kick some aft. :D ^.^

**thedivine9** - your reviews always leads me into deep thought, which leads to more plot twist. I'm so glad you enjoyed the two stories and this chaptered prequel and I always look forward to what you have to think.

**Anodythe** - thanks so much for looking at my writings and giving your feedback. It keeps me coming back, and I'll get back to work on my Doctor Who-TFP crossover. ^.^ :3 :D ^^

And last, but not least, **RulerofFire**. Without you, this wouldn't be a chaptered story *wrings fist* and I wouldn't be frantically writing each chapter and completing it up to here. The motivation *koff*forcedslavedriving*koff* couldn't have been made without you and for the helpful bits and pieces that got the story to where it's at now. Tipp der Hut zu Ihnen. Vielen, vielen Dank. ^^ *koff*curseyou*koff* x3

Once again, to ALL of you…

Thank you.

_XOXO, _

_Pieda the Mokona (Legacy Now)_


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